If you’re living with obesity, you’ve probably heard it all before—lazy, unmotivated, lacking willpower. These words are often tossed around casually, as if they explain everything. But they don’t. And worse, they’re wrong.
Let’s get this out of the way early: you are not lazy. Obesity is not a simple case of “eat less, move more,” and reducing it to that ignores decades of scientific research, lived experience, and the real challenges people face every day.
In fact, one of the biggest barriers to managing obesity isn’t a lack of effort—it’s the toxic shame and stigma that keep people stuck in silence, guilt, and isolation.
Let’s unpack this.
The Myth of Laziness
It’s easy for society to blame individuals for their weight. The media often reinforces this with “before-and-after” photos, judgmental headlines, or TV shows that shame people into change. But science tells a very different story.
Obesity is influenced by:
- Genetics (some people are biologically more prone to weight gain)
- Hormones (like insulin, leptin, and ghrelin that affect hunger and fat storage)
- Metabolism (which can slow down due to age, stress, or even dieting history)
- Medications (certain antidepressants, antipsychotics, or steroids)
- Environment and socioeconomic status (access to healthy food, safe places to exercise, or time for self-care)
This isn’t about excuses—it’s about context. And when we ignore the full picture, we push the blame onto the individual instead of looking at the system around them.
How Stigma Hurts More Than It Helps
Shame doesn’t motivate—it isolates. Studies show that weight stigma can actually lead to increased stress, emotional eating, and even more weight gain (Puhl & Heuer, 2010). When people are judged for their bodies, they’re less likely to go to the gym, see a doctor, or even talk openly about their health.
Let that sink in: stigma actually prevents people from seeking help.
And it’s not just social. Medical weight bias is real. Many people report being dismissed or misdiagnosed because healthcare providers focus on their weight rather than listening to their symptoms. That’s not healthcare—that’s discrimination.
You’re Trying Harder Than People Think
Most people with obesity are not sitting around doing nothing. Many have dieted dozens of times, tried countless programs, or are managing other health conditions on top of it all. And yet, they’re still told they just need to “try harder.”
The truth? You’re already trying.
Trying to show up in a world that judges you for your body. Trying to work, parent, care for others, manage stress, and function while navigating a deeply biased society. That’s not laziness—that’s resilience.
What Actually Works
We don’t need more shame. We need more compassion, better access to care, and support systems that focus on health, not just weight.
Here’s what makes a difference:
- Safe spaces to move your body without judgment
- Healthcare providers who listen, not lecture
- Mental health support to address emotional eating or body image
- Sustainable habits, not crash diets or punishment workouts
- Celebrating small victories, like better sleep, more energy, or less pain—not just pounds lost
Obesity is a health condition, not a character flaw. And managing it takes courage, persistence, and a whole lot of unlearning.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Respect and Support
If you’ve internalized the message that your weight is your fault, I want you to hear this: you are not the problem. The problem is a culture that still sees body size as a moral issue instead of a health issue—and one that shames people into silence instead of supporting them into action.
You are allowed to take up space.
You deserve healthcare that respects you.
And you’re not lazy—you’re surviving in a world that rarely sees the full you.
Let’s stop blaming and start listening. Real change begins with empathy. And that includes how you speak to yourself, too.
Sources
- Puhl, R. M., & Heuer, C. A. (2010). Obesity stigma: Important considerations for public health. American Journal of Public Health, 100(6), 1019–1028.
- World Health Organization. (2023). Obesity and overweight
- Harvard Health Publishing. (2021). The surprising science behind weight loss
